When I first started this blog, it was by some inexplicable impulse inside me. I had a story that I wanted to share and sharing it made me feel good. I didn’t have a plan or even any kind of general idea where I wanted to go with this but this conviction persisted that I need to write.
Over the last few months, I have witnessed a battle inside my head between the forces of JUST-DO-IT and IT’S-NOT-WORTH-IT. A mixture of inspiration and fear, creativity and emptiness, the need to express myself, and doubt in my ability do so.
The problem with me is that I do want to connect with like-minded people but I cannot say what my interests are precisely. I am not exceptional in any way other than how each of us is unique. I do okay with things that I need to do, but I don’t have any particular talent.
I thought, I need a “sign” of some sort…
Recently, after years of silence, I started email correspondence with a dear, old friend of mine. He said, I don’t know how it happens, but you have a gift of choosing words in a way that touches me, almost like you stole them from my own mind.
It was a huge compliment and maybe the sign I was waiting for…
Each of us absorbs knowledge and wisdom and we filter them through our own experiences and we help others see what we see. And they help us see when we are blindsided.
So, I have decided that this blog will be for sharing all the big and little things that get me out of bed every morning, inspire me, and make me want to become a better human being.
Also, for sharing the things that are challenging or painful.
Because it is never just unicorns and rainbows, is it?
You know that quote from Pema Chodron?
Life is glorious, but life is also wretched. It is both.
Appreciating the gloriousness inspires us, encourages us, cheers us up, gives us a bigger perspective, energizes us. We feel connected. But if that’s all that’s happening, we get arrogant and start to look down on others, and there is a sense of making ourselves a big deal and being really serious about it, wanting it to be like that forever. The gloriousness becomes tinged by craving and addiction.
On the other hand, wretchedness—life’s painful aspect—softens us up considerably. Knowing pain is a very important ingredient of being there for another person. When you are feeling a lot of grief, you can look right into somebody’s eyes because you feel you haven’t got anything to lose–you’re just there. The wretchedness humbles us and softens us, but if we were only wretched, we would all just go down the tubes. We’d be so depressed, discouraged, and hopeless that we wouldn’t have enough energy to eat an apple.
Gloriousness and wretchedness need each other. One inspires us, the other softens us. They go together.
Here’s to inspiration, creativity, and going for it!